Tips For Accepting That Children Grow Up
You’ve heard it hundreds of times: “It’s the law of life” , “You did it too” , “They have a right to think about them”… but you don’t want to accept the fact. Accepting that children grow up is not a simple task. However, you must learn that time passes and they will become more and more independent. In this article, we’ll show you some tips to help you get through this phase.
Accept that children grow up
If it were for the parents, they would prefer that their children were always small, that they needed them all the time, and that their biggest problems were tying their shoelaces or that their favorite toy was broken.
It’s normal to be at a kind of ‘crossroads’ whenever children learn something new or demonstrate independence. On the one hand, there is the happiness of the achievement achieved, but on the other hand, the sadness at realizing that ‘they no longer need us as much as they used to.’
As a first step, we must accept that children grow up. They go from being children to becoming teenagers and then adults. When that happens, it’s normal for them to leave the house, but we’re not going to talk about that yet.
The children’s stage of youth can be quite problematic. The autonomy they have to do certain things is combined with hormonal changes and the rebellion of not asking for help. This is the first ‘break’ in parents’ lives.
A few years later, this son, who is still vulnerable to us, decides to leave to live alone, get married, or move abroad. We can’t believe time passed so quickly! It seems like yesterday that he arrived in the world, took his first steps or faced the first day of school.
A ‘preventive’ task
It is necessary to accept over time that, at some point, the children will leave home and will start their own family. This does not mean starting to think about it while they are still babies, but rather accepting the idea as they enter adolescence.
That way, when the fact happens, we’ll be ready. No doubt, not completely, because we will not be able to avoid this crossroads between happiness and sadness again.
We will be happy for them when they decide to leave the house, but we will also be distressed that they will no longer be with us all day. Let’s not lie, this is one of the most painful times for parents, an ordeal that must be overcome in the best way and an ideal time to start thinking about ourselves.
By accepting that children grow up and leave home, it is essential to learn to fill that void. On a physical level, with the empty rooms, but also emotionally, with the feeling of ‘what am I going to do now?’
As we said earlier, being prepared for this moment can greatly reduce the so-called ’empty nest syndrome’. Many parents do not prepare for the moment when their children are going to leave the house because, deep down, they hope that it will never happen.
How to face this phase of life
We should not consider this phase as something negative or distressing, quite the opposite. Perhaps, in all the years since your children were born, you haven’t had a weekend or even an afternoon to yourself. Now you will have more free time!
Maybe you were waiting for your kids to become more independent to start a course, take a trip or visit your friends more. The time is now!
If you are with your partner, you will thank you for this intimacy that has been lacking for so long. Undoubtedly, it is a task for two to accept that the children grow up and that the house will be emptier. The first few months will be awkward and you may feel a little disoriented.
However, as is often said, people are ‘habit animals’ and you will eventually accept that a new phase of your life has begun. In it, you can and should think about yourself and your tastes or needs.
Your children are breaking new ground and building their own destiny, just as you were a few years ago. So, despite this being a cliché, you must accept that ‘this is the law of life’ and find the positive side of this change.
