My Lap Is Your Refuge: You Will Never Be Too Big For Me my

It doesn’t matter if you are 3 months, 3 years or 30 years old . My lap will always be your refuge: a home in which to grow up feeling loved, valued and protected. This corner of my body will be, whenever you need it, your pillow to relativize problems, to find yourself with the affection and emotional balance we all need, even as adults.

We are sure that in your day-to-day as a mother or father you have heard more than once something like “don’t keep the baby in your arms for so long, this way he’ll be spoiled”. Faced with these sentences of supposed popular wisdom, we ask ourselves if it really is better to leave the little ones in their strollers or in their cribs, lying on their backs, looking at a fixed wall or an infinite sky, in which nothing happens and nobody talks to them.

It is clear that for everything there is a limit and a balance. However, beyond what many people could imagine, babies are prepared to spend the first moment of their lives on their mother’s body. Nothing could be more beneficial and stimulating for them. Your parents’ lap and arms are ideal settings, where continuous safety and stimulation are combined. Perfect elements for brain maturation.

On the other hand, we only want to provide a piece of data to reflect on. There are data to demonstrate that the psychoaffective development of children who grew up in foster care is often as weak as it is traumatic. Most of them suffer disorders that are related to bonds. In fact, it was possible to verify that the babies who are in some less positive orphanages have even stopped crying.

There comes a time when a baby understands that crying is not going to do any good. It doesn’t matter that they are well fed. What they really want is to be held in their laps, to be rocked and cared for emotionally. When this is lacking, when this is not offered, the child starts to develop deficiencies, and the mark of a wound that will bring more than one consequence: low self-esteem, attention problems, slower cognitive development…

You will grow in my lap to be stronger

Given these very dramatic testimonies that some children live in certain orphanages, it is clear to everyone the importance of establishing a strong, healthy and safe bond with our babies. It is an essential thing that we must encourage, especially during the first three years of life, a key period in the child’s brain, psychomotor, affective and psychosocial development.

So, it never hurts to follow the fundamental principles that lap-rearing reminds us, because their benefits and the wide-ranging impact they have on our children are wonderful.

Growing up on mom and dad’s lap improves child development

The baby’s natural posture, as we already know, is with an arched back in the shape of a C. This is how he was in the womb, and this is how he will feel comfortable in the first few months.

• So, if you carry the baby in the stroller or lap, remember that your knees should be above butt height and your legs like the legs of a “frog”.
• Don’t forget that a baby who lies down all day can develop plagiocephaly (flattening of the head from being in the wrong posture).
• In turn, this continuous interaction with the baby while we carry him in our arms favors his social, affective and communicative development: he will respond to smiles, words, caresses…

• Also, the act of carrying it in the lap often reduces the presence of colic and even the classic reflux so common in the first 3 months of life.

My lap will always be your home, no matter how big you are

Children grow up fast, everyone knows that. Yesterday they took a nap lying on top of us and we walked with them in the park with them and, when we realize, they go to school alone, ride in the front seat of the car and prepare their vacation in the company of friends.

All of this is good, it’s positive and it’s what we as fathers and mothers hope: that our little ones are happy, free, strong, mature and able to be happy and make others happy too. However, don’t forget: no one is too big not to need a hug.

The hugs of a mother and a father have no expiration date. They must be available for everyday moments and for those we need most. It’s a way to come home, it’s a great way to remind them how much we love them, how important they are to us and how proud we are for the way they are, and for simply being themselves: our valued, perfect children. and precious ones that life has given us.

So don’t listen to those who repeat that litany that children are spoiled for being on mommy’s lap. Because to live without this source of emotional food in everyday life, in fact, is to live badly, is to let this child grow up with needs. Because raising a child is not just about ensuring your physical health, it also involves feeding your emotions, taking care of your mind, your brain, your heart…