Give Options Instead Of Telling Your Child What To Do!
Giving young children options may seem like a bad idea, but it really isn’t. Perhaps during your childhood you heard things like “because I told you to, and don’t respond”. These ultimatums are unnecessary for the good education of children, as you can give your children the opportunity to make their own decisions without them realizing that they have been guided by you in that direction.
The authority at home should always be with the parents, but that doesn’t mean that options aren’t a good educational resource. Parents provide the options and children feel free to decide for themselves.
This strategy will also make the little ones feel independent and in control of their choices. However, it must be done correctly so that children do not become petty tyrants.
How to provide good options for children?
In order for your children to grow up with self-confidence, you will need to give them options, of course, but it must be done in the right way. So don’t miss the tips we’ll give you next.
Offer a maximum of two options
“What do you want for lunch?” If you don’t want your child to say chocolate or ice cream every day, you’ll have to give them two options so they can choose. This will help to maintain health and ensure good nutrition. Your child will think he is in control of that choice, which is true, but only up to a point.
Choose your battles and prepare for success
There are some areas where you need to give your imagination free rein in terms of options, and possibly most will have to do with bedtime.
The pajamas your child wants to wear and the books she wants to read before bed are choices she can make on her own. This will lead to a quieter bedtime routine.
Every day can be different, although you don’t have to go crazy about it. It’s important not to make everything a conflict and really pick the battles that matter. This does not mean being permissive at all, but simply knowing what is priority and what is not.
Allow children to negotiate (to some extent)
Perhaps most nights you find yourself negotiating how much time they can spend in front of the screens or awake before bed. In fact, in order for it not to become a war, it is better to give options to make it a more peaceful experience.
For example, children can choose between 10 minutes of television watching their favorite program or 10 minutes on their cell phone, but not both. They will have to choose what makes them feel better or what they like the most.
Ask what they need and give options
Sometimes children have behaviors that we don’t expect because they need something we’re not providing. This something usually translates into time, kisses, hugs, games… However, to know, you have to ask. Only by asking can you understand the importance of having this conversation with your little ones.
Maybe you just have to ask them to choose how many kisses or hugs they want, or to choose the game they want to play with. Allowing them to make their own decisions will make them much happier kids (and you, Mom, will be happier too).
Cultivate trust and independence through options
When the day is over, it is very important that you have cultivated the children’s confidence and independence. Nobody likes to be told what to do, especially a small child.
Allowing them to make decisions for themselves promotes confidence in their ability to make decisions. This trust will give your children independence, and they will likely be happy to feel capable.
not everything is valid
There will be times when you can’t allow them to choose because that’s not a good option and you need to be more authoritative about it. This doesn’t necessarily have to be bad. Your kids should learn that even if you give them options from time to time, you will always have the last word.
For example, if your kids want to spend more time at the park, but it’s time to leave, there will be no other options. Or if you have to leave early in the morning to go to the doctor or school, but they want to sleep a little longer, then there is no option either.
Given all of this, it’s important that, as a mom or dad, you know when the best time to give options is and when it’s not. This way, your children will have the self-confidence to make decisions and will learn to think for themselves, but at the same time, they will know that they must follow your lead whenever it is appropriate. This will provide security, which is also essential for its good development.
